I quit! and stuff.

It’s challenging.  I mean really, it is.

I Quit!

I quit smoking, for the second time in my life, 4 days ago on May 10th, Gino’s Birthday!  My stats say that I have saved myself 21 cigarettes, $6.30 and that my CO and O2 levels are back to normal.  My app also states that I have regained all my taste and smell and lowered my risk for sudden death.  What does this all mean?  Nothing, really.  Not to me.  I quit because I was tired of smoking.  I did it because when times got tough, there was no food in the house and no money for food, so I used it as a hunger depressant in which I’ve also used it as a relief from any other addictions.  Now, I have a place to live, I have food on the table and I’m fairly ok with making ends meet, so I don’t need it anymore.

Or do I?

On May 9th, I had an interview for a full time job, because this part time job isn’t paying the bills and I’m not getting gigs as often as I’d like, so full time it is.  I want my kids back!  It was a rough day and the last day I smoked cigarettes.  (I don’t think I got this job, btw.  Which fits perfectly for my life.  🙂 )

But you know what?

I’m agitated.  I feel angry inside.  I want to do something, but I don’t know what it is.  And I keep craving soda?  Ugh!

I quit!

I need meditation in my life and possibly yoga.  I need a good instructor, one that will bring the peace out of me or help me bring it out of myself.  The last instructor I tried had a weird vibe and it didn’t work out well.

Who’s up for driving?!