The Day Trump Hurt My Feelings

Somehow, I was deemed, ACCEPTED, by my white neighbors.

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I was born to parents born in El Paso, Texas.  Their parents were legal migrants from Mexico.  As children, Ricardo and Juana, would travel, with their families, from El Paso, Texas to Gilroy, CA for the farming season.  Not meeting each other until later on in their lives when both families decided to move to and settle in San Fernando and Pacoima, CA.

For not being born into privilege, they did well.  Richard, as he was known, retired from the Army life early and became a union brother at General Motors, along with some of his brothers.  Jenny, as she was known, decided to be a stay at home wife, taking care of her 2 children, Deborah, 8, and RJ, 7, when I decided to pop into the picture.

Boom!  I was born right into the middle class.  All 3 of us attended private school and English was our 1st and only language.  When I showed interested in learning Spanish, my mother always discouraged me because we were in America and we are Americans.  I always wondered what made her think this way.  I never really fit in with the Latino crowd because, well simply, I didn’t speak Spanish and I was considered Pocha.  I thought that maybe I fit in with the neighborhood kids because we are all mixed.  Danny and Sandy were Korean American, Tammy’s family was white, Belinda’s family was interracial with both black and white, Cedros’ family were American Indians, Adolf and his family were Jewish, our next door neighbors were white and then there was my family, Mexican American.  (As a side note, we had a lesbian couple on our block along with a gay man, which should have been shocking in the 80s but it was normal for us)  I’ve been lucky.  I lived in a diverse neighborhood that taught us all tolerance and understanding of our fellow Americans.

My mother had trees.  Boy, did she have trees and a flair for making spicy chili (salsa), spicy anything for that matter, to share.  She would make food for the neighbors and they would return the favor in kind.  When we picked fruit from the trees, all the neighbors were invited over to come pick their share of fruits or we would prepare bags of fruits for them and deliver it to their door.  There are a lot of things my mom taught me.  A lot, completely wrong and crazy but the best thing she ever taught me was to love your neighbors and look out for one another, never once pointing out any differences.

My father, on the other hand, well he taught me to laugh at everything and not to take everything so seriously.  Both are gone now.  As an advocate against child abuse and corruption with the government, but even more than that, I’m a burner, a hard worker, an artist, a mother and a human, my biggest fear is that I will not be able to accomplish my goals because, well, at the end of the day, I’m Mexican.

I’ve been living a lie.  For as long as I can remember, I lived with the idea that all of my neighbors accepted me, for me.  That they loved me because I’m a good person inside and that they didn’t look at me as one race or another, but as a person.  The idea that they watched me grow up from a bratty little tyke into the woman that I was yesterday and whoever I will be tomorrow, that they love me, as I love them.  However, I now know how wrong I am.

On June 5th, my world changed and on June 6th, I hadn’t stopped crying.  First off, as an adult, I remained friends with some of my neighbors through Facebook.  One in particular, Drew, I refer to as my brother and his cousin as my cousin.  Well, what started off as another jab at Hillary Clinton from a Donald Trump supporter, my cousin, turned into pain and anger.  After a man made a comment about Trump being God chosen, I simply said, God and politics have nothing to do with each other and if it did, God isn’t hateful and mean-spirited.  My so-called brother jumped in to explain that I don’t know anything about politics because although my dad was a sweet man, he was more than likely illegal and this somehow made me ignorant.  This was somehow, his twisted ideological way of defending me.

Several posts trying to defend himself as right, brought me to this realization.  I was allowed to be a friend to white people because I somehow passed a test when I was born into my family.  My parents, somehow passed a test when they moved in.  Somehow, I was deemed, ACCEPTED, by my white neighbors.  We are not criminals, like other Mexicans.  We aren’t thieves, like other Mexicans.  We are somehow the exception.  I was somehow an exception.  So, as long as Trump keeps out people who aren’t accepted yet, we are good.

Mr. Trump, your hate speech is no longer wanted or appreciated.  You have reignited a whole new generation of racism and sexism that we, as a country, have worked so hard to eliminate and move away from.  It’s a shame.  It’s complete shame that you are allowed to use your celebrity to lie and deceive people on such a grand level that you are turning Americans against Americans.  The people in this beautiful country are not without fault, but you sir, need to get off the mic.  I will be glad when this election is over and are put back into the hole from which you have come out of.

Volunteering for good

Hello!

I know I’ve been away for a couple of weeks, but it’s only because I got super busy with my kids, school and now volunteering as Social Media Promoter for The 2nd Annual Ellen Art Show.  The position is super interesting because I have to figure out all the way to use social media promotions, another just came to mind as I was typing.

What is this show about?

Basically, 50+ artists from the United States have all created art depicting Ellen DeGeneres.  This art will be auctioned off and proceeds will help benefit The Trevor Project.

What is The Trevor Project?

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

-www.thetrevorproject.org

At this moment, I ask all my readers and visitors to visit http://www.EllenArtShow.org and click like on the facebook page located at http://www.facebook.com/EllenArtShow to help me spread the word.

Thanks!

Being friends sometimes is enough… or is it?

I saw a twitter post the other day about someone who has a friend, that they like more than a friend and wanted to know that age old question….

Do I tell her I like her more than as a friend or not?

Well buddy, here’s the long version answer to that question.

1. Longevity

The length of time is an important factor.  When you are a child, everyone is your friend.  As a teen, only certain people are your REAL friends and the others are just friend friends.  As a young adult, your circle of friends may tighten a little to include only those people who have gone through thick and thin with you and some people may come in and out of that friend circle, but you know who you really can count on as a friend.  As an adult, you realize that your friends have always been there, have adapted to your current way of life and haven’t really moved on, even though they may have moved away.

With that said, when you call this girl your friend, how well do you know each other as friends?  She may be hiding a whole lot of things from you because she may not even see you as the friend you think she is to you.  Just because you tell her parts about you and she tells you parts about her, doesn’t make her your friend in the adult manner.

However, if you have been friends for a long time, gone through thick and thin and no each other’s bullshit, then I see that strong foundation of friendship there and then it makes sense why you think she’s your friend.

2. Function

Sometimes being friends with people requires a lot of work.  Just like in a personal relationship, of any kind, you need to be able to see whether or not you can openly communicate with the person and they feel as though they can do the same with you.  However, sometimes, even though our friends go through it all with us, they may be just functional friends and not really personal friends.

Functional friends are the ones that you will find will talk to you, be all about you in the moment and then when that moment is over, they will move on and find other friends.  Nothing wrong with this type of friend because they can still be friends of the deepest and truest nature, touch base from time to time, but if you can’t tell if they are your true friends here’s a little test.  Shut up.  No, really, just shut up.  See what happens.

When you shut up, a real friend, who isn’t just about what they can get from you, will ask you about you and want to know what is going on in your life.  They will be genuinely concerned for you, your family and whatever is going on.  A functional friend will ask you about something that will somehow be a gain on their side.  So, if they a functional friend, either move her into the personal friend space or leave it alone.

3. All or none

At the end of the day, the real person you want to be with will possess all the qualities you are looking for in your partner minus the qualities that you can live without.  However, above all else, they should be someone who you can completely divulge everything to.  They know the ins and out of you as a person and they have no criticisms or hang ups on you and vice versa.  They are ultimately your best friend.

 – 4. Reason

If all else is on point, ask yourself one last thing…. what good or bad will come from professing your love for your friend today?

If there is a hurry, then maybe it isn’t exactly what you think it is.  Maybe it’s more like, I like her and really wanna get in her pants and I don’t care if we potentially mess up this friendship we have.  OR… I like her, I want her to be the one for me, but I’m going to take my time, make sure we are compatible and then take it from there.  Not all friendships can withstand the let’s make this happen but it could withstand the possibility of making this happen in the future after I know you better, and after I know myself better.

I hope you make the right choice friend!  Last thing I ever want to see is you getting hurt.

Does anyone else have an opinion on this question?