Goodbye sir

We always knew our bodies die

But in this moment let me

Shed love

Your memory stays warm & deep

The love we had I’ll always cherish

You appeared in a moment

Left the same way

Now I’d love to hear you

Until we meet again my friend

Stay with me even though

our time has been stolen

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Arlin on the train

He misses her

waiting to see

remember her touch

Closing his eyes

Pain subsides

All he can see

Is her beautiful eyes

STOP!

FOCUS!

He forces himself to forget

But here she comes

in his heart

He knows she’s better off

Biting his lip

Using the pain to forget

He misses her once again

Feelings – I suck

It’s hard for me to remember
Because of the way I’ve been treated
It’s hard to diagnose
Feelings of the mistreated
No one has taken me
Into consideration
I have all but forgotten
What it is to be in this station

When you don’t bother to check in
You never return a phone call
You don’t ask how I’m doing
Or even care for me at all

I had a reminder
That they all have feelings
Be careful with their hearts
I’m told
They have feelings and thoughts
I’m told

But what about me

When they forget to call
When they forget to write
When they forget to show love
Leaving me alone in the night

But what about me
Do I not have any
These feelings thing you speak of
I feel I may have plenty
It may not be so loud
And it might be slightly concealed
But the worry and the anger
Are all things that I feel

I’m reminded about that time
Where I simply forgot
The appointment on my calendar
And the ringing of my clock
The distance was wide
And I did not despair
For he was acting like they all do
Just like he did not care

Months then pass
And that’s when I realize
His feelings were hurt
His smiling is simply a disguise

They are right to stay away
Because I seem to not have a care
For the feelings of others
Blankly, I’m not aware

Today, Tonight, Tomorrow

Today would be a great day

to forget his face

to forget his smile

and to forget his existence

Tonight would be an amazing night

while I’m in another’s arms

while I’m filled with hope

while I’m writhing in pain

Tomorrow would be a great time

for him to forgive me

for him to think of me

for him to let me be

Last night would have been perfect

if he didn’t look at me

if he didn’t notice me

if he didn’t worry

Last year would have been unforgettable

if I never looked his way

if I never paid attention

if I never let my heart wander

Next year will be amazing

if I stop hurting

if I stop feeling

if I stop hoping

But tonight, I just want to lie in the arms of another

Share the night with my thoughts

Pretend that we are together

Knowing that this is all that I’ve got

Pretend that there was no door

Imagine that there is nothing stopping me

To unleash this pent up feeling

To let the rage take over me

To revel in the redemption of that face

Knowing the secret hiding in his eyes

Preparing to spread my wings

Freeing myself from the cocoon of his arms

Indulging in the spirit of his energy

Like a drug that I didn’t know I was addicted to

While his hands and arms wrap around me

Massaging my mind into euphoria

Whispering nothing louder than silence

Allowing myself to slip away

Forgetting that he’s not him

Touching him softly

Wondering

Caressing him with my mind and body

Thinking of how best to create

He fades out of my mind and your image takes form

And as you lay there, not a word from your mouth

All I can think of, how sweet this melody will be

These moments I taste your energy and spirit inside of me

I can feel it even now

as I type these words

the connection that we have

was so haphazardly formed

I suffer

I writhe

I yearn

I cry

Nothing but your final touch will ever satisfy

As I lay my hands on you

Massaging the kinks out of your neck

My teeth ready for a bite

Skin so close for a lick

My body wants nothing more than to join with yours

My soul reaches out just to try to get a taste

But alas, it is not you

And returns un satiated

And all these words that I write

Can never compare to the sound

Of the energy going through my body

And how it will feel once the two have finally bound

One hand on my face

The other in my hair

But I’ll stay here

In the arms of another

Pretending

Siphoning what I can

Remembering who I am

Reminding him of me

Not thinking of what could be

Settling

Because a year and a day ago was the perfectly wrong time

To meet him

To know him

To fall in love

Tomorrow will be a great reminder of

 

Love.

2015-12-26 16.38.37

Something

I’m on a self destructive path

Fire in my aftermath

The devil wish he could save my soul

Blowing in the wind

Time twisting around the bend

Burning deep down

Filling the holes

Wildwood burning

Smells so great

Sealing this doom

That is my fate

The fire heading out of control

The wounds too ready

Blisters are forming

This fire had its warning

The water looks so clear

But it’s not for me

I fear

Is burning through and through

This self destructive path

Leaves traces of my mind

Without dousing the pain

Arising the new day

Like a Phoenix on the rise

The fire flames

Arise and Arise

The burning is deep in my soul

Untitled darkness

Day to day

I wake up

And look around

Rub my eyes

But you’re not

To be found

Just a thought

Or maybe a dream

But this thought

Can’t be unseen

Here or there

Missing a beat

Faintly I can hear

Stomping feat

Are you real

Or just a fake

Your presence makes

A dark mistake