Something

I’m on a self destructive path

Fire in my aftermath

The devil wish he could save my soul

Blowing in the wind

Time twisting around the bend

Burning deep down

Filling the holes

Wildwood burning

Smells so great

Sealing this doom

That is my fate

The fire heading out of control

The wounds too ready

Blisters are forming

This fire had its warning

The water looks so clear

But it’s not for me

I fear

Is burning through and through

This self destructive path

Leaves traces of my mind

Without dousing the pain

Arising the new day

Like a Phoenix on the rise

The fire flames

Arise and Arise

The burning is deep in my soul

Untitled darkness

Day to day

I wake up

And look around

Rub my eyes

But you’re not

To be found

Just a thought

Or maybe a dream

But this thought

Can’t be unseen

Here or there

Missing a beat

Faintly I can hear

Stomping feat

Are you real

Or just a fake

Your presence makes

A dark mistake

Defined

He defined me.

Selfish, victim and controlling.

I think

I think

I think

He doesn’t know me.

He doesn’t know.

Sacrifices

Heartbreak

Struggle

Fear

He doesn’t know.

Love

Partnership

Friendship

Uncertainty

What he knows.

Scewed

Tainted

Distant

Blurry

What he knows.

Anger

Poverty

Self-loathing

Miniscule

I am not his definition.

I will not be his manipulation.

Everyone has an opinion.

I’m too much this or not enough that.

Everyone has an opinion.

Stupid.

Gullible.

Loving.

Unaware.

If I told you

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If I told you
How I loved you
Would you find
A million ways to
Break my heart

Blind is the beholder
In the eye of judgement
And daggers flow
Down the tear ducts
Of my brain

The pain exists on
Felt through galactic
Intrinsically
Exploding through the
Ravine

If I told you
How I fell in love with you
Would you find a
Million ways to kill
My heart

Los Angeles

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Open and wild
Free to act like a child
Bask in the glory
This mountain’s true story
Things heard and seen
Life’s true memory
Alone I sit
Contemplating all of it
They come, they go
Only for moments though
All this time I’ve got
To enjoy life in thought
Serene and peaceful
Los Angeles is beautiful

Circular thoughts

I sent a thought out into the circle and swore I heard you respond

I sent this thought for your energy to find its way to happiness

I sent a thought out into the circle hoping to hear your sound

A rush of calm and love came flooding in, light and fulfilling and I sent it out back to you…

I sent my love for you into the circle and my pain has eased

I sent my heart’s energy into the circle and hope that it’s reached you.

Just a dream

He did his thing,  and I watched on the sidelines.

At the end of the night,  we waited in the car,  his friend and mine.   An SUV that I’ve never been in before. As we waited,  a huge pillar of a building topples over. As I see this happening,  I want to flee. But his friend says no,  we will be fine here and my friends agrees.

I worry about his safety.

His friend starts to call him,  I start worrying when he does not answer. I start to call,  he answers and is alright. He’ll see me soon and we disconnect.

I insist that we check for the injured. All is fine except two children were hit by debris from the building but are ok.

We go to the next building and wait. I worry until he approaches and kisses me.   I’m safe in his love and his embrace.

As I wake from this dream,  I realize that I have been feeling loved for months now. I feel so full and it’s a feeling I do not recall feeling before.

I don’t need him but I do want to keep him. I find no flaws yet I know they are there,  hidden deep.  I see no pain,  but I know it’s there, for me to love and heal. I find nothing but a love that fills me within. I can only hope that I do the same for him.