My my my what ifs

This was written on March 8 th,  2015 while I was on the bus heading home. The moment in which I realized,  in written form and mental thought, that I have a greater power that I’ve kept hidden for a long time.  Do you ever feel this way?   What do you think? What would be your answers to your own what ifs?

Original note:

What if, in this world, everyone we meet connects with us on a deeper level that we refuse to pay attention to?  What if we can implant, some stronger than others, a piece of ourselves in the form of energy into each other?

I’ve always believed that with every boyfriend I’ve had, they’ve somehow left a imprint on me.  But what if it’s even wider spread than that. Every time a friend has been pregnant, I’ve felt this to some degree.  What if that’s just their imprint in my soul?  Something I keep, long after they’ve left.  

Pushing forward, when you open up to the energy that someone gives you, whether negative or positive, it is completely possible to feel what they want you to feel. To affect someone so deeply without being near then transcends time and space. To be able to show physical manifestations from that imprint would require an openness that may not be purposeful on either side.  Completely unintentional but rather an auto response of our own energy searching out other energy to taste it or experience it, to learn and grow.  Like the human immune system for your soul.  

What if all this leads to one outcome that cannot be fully granted before death.

My thoughts today,  May 13 th,  2015:

Yes, I do believe. I believe that I’m stronger for it. These ideas always remind me of Robert’s best friend who would come to me in my dreams after he killed himself before I sent him away. I used to say that is unfair to feel these things. I often talk to my friends,  those who will listen,  that I sometimes feel like I’m insane. Can I be the only one in the world who experiences the world in this way?  The answer,  I’ve come to find out,  is no. I enjoy being at one with the world,  the energy in the world and all the gifts that are out there. My acceptance of both the good and the bad is essential and I need to recognize it.

You see,  the fear I have isn’t really being declared insane,  is being declared correct. Because if I am, then that means I need to be careful. That means that there is someone out there who can connect with me so fully that they could possibly destroy me or blow me into oblivion.

As I lay here, feeling and thinking, I don’t try to fix the situation but rather gain knowledge of the unknown and embrace the energy that intrudes on me daily.

Because the “what ifs” are so many, I know that steps need to be made before answers can be reached.

Good night world


Author: butterflyafterlife

I'm a Assistant Director and producer for Indy Films/Shows, study as much as possible and love photography. Sometimes, I post about a thought in my head and let it take over from there. I love your support and feedback!