My sister, from another family and is a single mother of one, sends a message telling me that this guy posed the most interesting question to her. Now, since I am here to help myself, her and anyone who wants to read this crazy blog, I told her, Yeap, that’s going on there.
So, the question she received from this guy she was talking to is this:
How do you satisfy your ex mentally, physically, etc?
(and after the initial shock…) Second, I think the answer to his question is obvious. If he had been satisfied mentally, physically and so on, he wouldn’t be an “ex”, he’d be a current and possibly a hubby. As long as he was helping to return the satisfaction.
It occurs to me that this individual (referred to as weirdo) feels as though, after a break-up, it is customary for ex anythings to still keep an intimate relationship, of some sort, in able to coexist. Especially those who have children with each other. I respectfully disagree. However, the people we are talking about are in their early to mid twenties and I am a strong mid-thirty. It’s a difference in times and in mind sets. My sister was shocked because she has the wisdom of experience and knows that having an intimate relationship with someone she is clearly not in love with or in an actual relationship with is not the best choice for herself or her child and does not set a great example for her daughter.
Let’s think for a moment of the millions of children out there that are growing up thinking, this is ok. With a society who starts having unprotected sex as early as 9 years old, parents who started having children far too early in life and the ability to turn to any channel or download anything from the internet that is completely inappropriate, it is very important that as soon as they can start understanding basic concepts, that we tell our children that promiscuity is not the path you want to walk down. I’ve been talking with my teenage son for years now about sex and what happens if you do not protect yourself and what type of girl he should consider dating, instead of dating every girl. Has he heard me, yes. Does he listen? No idea. I cannot be there every moment of his life and I cannot make the decisions for him, but I can inform him and prepare him to be a man. That’s my job as a single mom. That’s my job as his mother. Even more importantly, that is my job as a responsible citizen and adult.
It is not appropriate to have sex with your ex. It isn’t appropriate to give anything of yourself once they (the ex) have given up the rights that every man and woman get once they enter a relationship. So sister, that is your rebuttal to said weirdo. This was a test to see if you were still in a relationship with your ex and even more, it was a signal of the type of person this weirdo is. He is probably still having sex with his ex or thinks it’s ok for himself to go back to an ex.
I made the mistake of being in a relationship with a guy who felt that way. He felt it ok to call his ex at night to tell her he loved her, to send her emails on Valentine’s day, just to chat and he felt it ok to cheat on me when he was away. Don’t make those mistakes, read the signs from day one and you will be able to understand what the type of man you want in your life will be like.
Love you sister.